I found out I was pregnant with my second child about two weeks before I turned 33. I'd had my daughter, Audra, in June of 2011 by csection after my calm, serene, drug free, dream birth turned into 36 hours of very difficult, mind alteringly painful back labor. She was occiput posterior and acynclitic. She was so absolutely stuck in my pelvis that the OB who performed my csection had to push her back into my abdomen through my vagina. Not a pleasant thing to experience, with or without pain meds.
Enter the VBAC. I wasn't convinced that, traumatic as it was, my first labor and delivery was anything other than the luck of the draw. What I was convinced about was that I was going to seriously rock my VBAC. I learned more about birth than I had during my first pregnancy, and I never once doubted myself or my body.
I believe that had more to do with my success than anything. Though there are many other elements that led to my birthing my 9lb boy without an epidural and without any perineal damage. Among them are, my husband Jamie. He says little but acts wholly and completely. My doula Meredith anchored me and kept me in the moment, always knowing exactly what I needed. And Kathy, the midwife on call who let the three of us do our thing so that instead of me laboring alone, or in contrast with my birth team, I felt that we labored together. It was an amazing experience and exactly the support I needed.
I'd been having prodromal labor for a couple weeks. Contractions every day for a few hours but nothing to indicate the real thing. I was so uncomfortable and just beyond ready to have this baby. I was only two days past my EDD.
Sunday night, the 6th of April, I decided that I'd had it! This baby was coming out tomorrow. My plan was to take some black cohosh, have sex with my husband, and have a baby in the morning. In the meantime I would continue lazing about, never too far from a place to lay down. At about 9pm, Audra, my three year old daughter, came into the bedroom where I was resting (having very mild, irregular contractions) and cuddled with me. She had somehow swiped a pearl necklace from my jewelry box. It was one of my husband's grandmothers—a woman who had birthed six children (including surprise twins), and whom I very much admired.
Audra was playing with the necklace while we were laying there talking about the baby. I asked her if she wanted to meet the baby. She said yes. When? I asked. Tomorrow, she said. So I told her to tell him to come out already and meet her! She placed the necklace on my belly, in two different positions, then took it off, then rubbed her hands in circles over the whole thing—some sort of random and kind of bizarre toddler ritual I guess. She kissed me goodnight and then went with daddy for stories and bedtime.
Jamie came back in soon after and while I wasn't at all in the mood, we ended up having a wonderfully arousing time and I started contracting more regularly pretty much as soon as we'd finished.
I mostly slept through them until about 4 am when they were just a bit too intense to ignore. I was starving and hadn't had a shower in a couple days so I made a quick pb&j and took a hot shower. I even blow dried my hair. I didn't want these contractions to stop like all my previous ones had so I got on the birth ball and rocked. I wrote my affirmations on a small chalkboard I keep in the kitchen. By 530am the contractions were about 60 seconds long and 4-6 minutes apart. I still felt like we had some time but it was definitely happening today! So excited! It was about then that I had my first show. Blood streaked—a good sign! I decided to lay down to rest, seeing as I wasn't going to be getting any more sleep.
Hubs woke up soon after and I told him he should probably stay home today, I'd hate for him to clock in and then have to clock right back out. He made his arrangements and I contemplated texting Meredith. I finally did at about 545 and she was on her way by 7. In the meantime I called my mom and sister to come pick up Audra. They showed up around 720. I rested, Jamie packed Audra's overnight bag, and there was more show around 725, according to text records.
I stayed laying on my left side, wrapped around my pregnancy pillow while the contractions took me. I really tried to focus on my affirmations and breathing through the contractions. Meredith got cozy behind me and rubbed my back. It was very quiet and comforting. I really liked the energy in the house. Even when Audra, my mom, grandmother, and sister were still there making noise and playing. Everyone was really excited and emotional. It was the happiness and love I needed.
I said my goodbyes to them around 8 am and we kept timing, talking, and moaning through more contractions. I got hungry around 930 and Jamie made us some eggs. We ate them in bed, but about halfway through the eggs I felt nauseous. We thought about going to the hospital, but we felt the contractions weren't long enough yet. And I really wanted to stay home as long as I could.
By 1130 we decided we should go. My contractions were 2 minutes apart and 1:30 long. I had to bring my pregnancy pillow, as I wasn't comfortable in any other position but on my left side, hugging that pillow. We got to the hospital at 12:15. Triage checked me in and I met Kathy, the Midwife on duty. She had led the birth center tour I took a couple months prior and I really liked her. She read my birth plan and confirmed that we wanted to pretty much be left alone until we needed her. She was 100% okay with that. They monitored baby for a while. Everything was great She checked me around 1245 and I was 4cm, 90% and she could feel my bag of waters. I think everyone smiled pretty big at that. I remember her asking me if I wanted to stay. Yeah, sure. Why not?
We walked to the room and got things set up. Meredith started the tub. Jamie got my pillow and hair ties out so I could lay down comfortably. I was really vocalizing through the contractions. And they were coming strong and fast. I was still remembering to breathe through them though. I was also getting uncomfortable in any position, but left side was working best. During one contraction I felt a huge POP and honestly thought for a minute that my uterus had ruptured because of how intense and strong it felt, but it was just my water breaking on its own. Must have been a thick membrane.
That was about 2pm.
That's also when the contractions started to really suck. I'm no pansy when it comes to pain, but it was taking all my concentration to make it through them. I decided to get in the tub, to see if that would help manage the pain. It was way too hot for me. Meredith got ice while I tried to get comfortable, but I couldn't. There was nothing for me to hold on to and I was really starting to lose focus. The nurse confirmed there was Meconium in my fluid. Since I was starting to feel pushy and couldn't get comfortable, I was happy to get out of the tub. I couldn't birth in there anyway, she told me, because of the Mec.
We had Kathy check me at around 3 and I was at 7cm, fully effaced. Baby was at 0 station and I really wanted to push with the contractions. I held off as best I could while Meredith and Jamie told me to breathe. I feel like I held onto their hands the whole time. Pretty much squeezing the life out of them.
Less than a half hour later I was at 9cm and the urge to push was too strong, I couldn't really fight it. I was losing my shit. For reals. I've learned over the years that when I am too out of control, in too much pain to focus at all, that I just can't cope, can't communicate, can't actively participate. I didn't want this to happen again. A contraction hit me, I tensed everything. Couldn't breathe. Meredith and the nurse were in my face telling me to breathe and I just really couldn't. I had decided beforehand, and discussed with Meredith, that if I got to this place that I would gladly invite intravenous pain management to this labor. I am glad I did. I am also glad they were very speedy with the needle.
It was like someone slapped me in the face and I could focus again. I swear I don't like drugs, but they are around for a reason. I truly believe that this was an instance of narcotics working with a laboring woman instead of against her. I was immediately more coherent. I could speak, minimally. I was also complete! That meant I could push! Thank all the gods everywhere!
We tried many different positions for pushing, but the toilet was best for me. I could really grab onto the safety bar and the hand of whomever was nearest. I can't remember thinking about time at all. We were back and forth from the bed (hated) to the toilet (better) quite a few times, but it was almost two hours! Once he crowned everyone helped me back to the bed. Jamie grabbed one leg, Meredith the other, and while everyone literally screamed (cheered) at me I pushed. I could feel Kathy helping and supporting me. My husband said she gave the baby a mohawk while only the top of his head was showing! Two more insane, perfect pushes and he was out. What amazing and sweet relief! I can't even describe how wonderful it felt. He was a big boy!
Because of the Meconium, his cord was cut immediately. Big sadface there. Blood shot five feet into the air, hitting the nurse. He was hurried over to the Peds doctors to suction. Kathy assessed my bleeding. Which was excessive. They worried that my cervix had torn. I delivered the placenta within minutes of Adler's birth and, luckily, with the help of the resident OB (with the killer 'stache) they found the source of the bleed. A small but arterial tear on the right side of my vaginal wall. Two stitches.
Adler was a bit beaten up from the journey but he was perfect and healthy! He was in my arms inside of five minutes. He latched on immediately. We waited a few hours to weigh and measure him. It was shift change so the nurse gave us her phone number to text her his weight. We all had a little bet going.
I think I won, but I can't remember now.
He was 9.0lbs and 20.5 inches long. Honestly, I was in awe that I had done it! I had my VBAC! Everyone in the room was elated. The midwife, the nurse, the peds doctors, the OB with the mustache. I had surrounded myself with people who supported me 150%.
My friend Diana was our first visitor. She was my doula during Audra's birth. She came to pick up my placenta for encapsulation. And somehow having her there with us brought both births together for me. My birth high was intense! It still kind of is. <3
Adler James. 4/7/14. 6:23pm.
Photographs Copyright Meredith Lynch 2014. Michigan Mama Birth Services
